And Many Happy Returns
by Rosslyn
Summary: [MK]Hakuba and Kaito welcomes you to their Christmas Party! Starring not only the host aka. the old married couple, but also Hattori the clever observer, and Shinichi the eloquent detective of the East. [Yaoi warning, fluff!]
1. Not a Wedding

- I own nothing but my never-ending essays -  
_for Athenaadante, I love you as Kaito loves Hakuba, although I admit it, he doesn't. XD_

**And Many Happy Returns**

"Kaito, come back here."

There was something in Hakuba's voice that made Kaito's hair stand on its end, but he obeyed nonetheless. The look in the blonde detective's eyes were desolate with nearly no emotions at all. He winced at the forthcoming words.

"We've been planning this for weeks, and you are getting cold feet… _now_?"

_Funny_, Kaito thought, _there's something wrong with that statement, isn't there?_ But he didn't dare raise the objection. Instead the dark-haired boy screwed his face together in an attempt to say 'yes', without sounding too offensive. That didn't work.

Hakuba was now staring at him as if he wanted to eat a hole out of the boy. Kaito did not like that idea.

"Look," Kaito absentmindedly scratched his head, "all I'm saying is that maybe _I_ shouldn't be here."

Hakuba looked sceptical. "And just how do you think I am going to pull this off by myself? Besides, both our names appeared on the host list. There's no way I'm letting you out of this."

_Oh God, this sounds just plainly wrong._ Kaito felt like he was forced at knifepoint to marry someone he didn't love. That's where the whole conversation is going, isn't it? Or did he love…him?

He studied the blonde boy again, who was standing in front of him in perfect posture, lightly frowning. Clearly _someone_ didn't like the idea of the bride getting away before the wedding. Wait, a _bride_? _Wedding_?

"Kuroba, snap out of it." Hakuba clicked his fingers in front of Kaito's eyes, which finally brought the boy back from the endless pit of oblivion. The blonde was now investigating him in distaste. "You were daydreaming. In front of me. _Not_ good."

_OK, maybe not the wedding. This ISN'T a wedding. Good. GOOD._ Kaito took a deep breath, bit his lips and swirled around. "Fine. I'll help you pull this off, but there's no way I'm doing the dishes, alright?"

"That's easily taken care of." On that note Kaito turned and caught Hakuba's smile, which hid only too much of a satisfaction, and cursed himself for falling into one of the detective's trap again.

Outside the windows he could see sunlight diminishing behind the horizon, night was falling, and he wondered what lied ahead, for it was a very, _very _special day.


	2. What Makes A White Christmas

- I own nothing but my never-satisfactory courseworks -  
_for Athenaadante, as love never ends_

* * *

The doorbell rang when Hakuba and Kaito were at the heart of their _apple-sauce goes better with turkey than gravy_ debate, by which time Hakuba was winning slightly.

Kaito looked at the clock on the kitchen wall and wondered who'd arrived this early, while Hakuba busied himself with the turkey and ordered the boy to get the door. Kaito reluctantly did, and blessed silence fell upon the blonde, who ducked his head to check the heating levels in the oven. However the beloved silence didn't last long.

"HAKU- WHAT- IN THE NAME OF – IS – THIS?!?!"

Hakuba regretted his own excellent reflexive system as he straightened to answer but bumped his head in the process. A incredulous Kuroba Kaito then flapped into the kitchen holding out a piece of delivery-check paper:

"Would you like to explain this? A lorry full of _home delivery snow?!_"

Hakuba rubbed his head absently and shrugged at the same time.

"Well, it _is_ Christmas."

"…"

"When nature doesn't grant you a white Christmas, technology will!" Hakuba announced cheerfully, took the paper from Kaito's hands, signed, and went to see the delivery man off. "Come, Kaito, we are unloading this into our gardens. It should be cold enough for it to stay. Kaito?"

"… you are _joking_."

Hakuba switched on the oven and led the way. "Nope. May want to get your KID gloves out now, Kaito. It'll be cold for sure."

"You've GOTTA be joking! My gloves are still stuck with yesterday's laundry that _you_ bailed out on doing! Oi! Come back here! I'm still talking to you!"


	3. Hattori's Glittering Comments

- I own nothing except my non-existent confidence -_  
for Athenaadante, again and again_

* * *

When Hattori Heiji and Kudo Shinichi arrived they found Hakuba and Kaito each with a shovel in hand, working merrily(or miserably, in some cases) away against a very, very white background. 

Almost as a natural reaction, Hattori bent down and picked up some of the pristine white substances on the ground and sniffed them, looking dubious.

"Yes, it's _snow_." Kaito said bitterly, sticking the shovel onto the ground with a soft thud.

"Snow?" Shinichi looked as if he rather believed it was a huge pile of pure heroin. "We don't usually get that much snow this time of the year… not any more… and snow does not only fall in Hakuba's garden, does it?" He examined the surroundings and raised an eyebrow in question, Hattori joining him, only with two eyebrows.

"Ask _him_," Kaito pointed a finger of guiltiness at the blonde detective, expressionless.

Hakuba seemed to be good spirits and didn't mind the accusing finger at all.

"Well," he started, smiling, "You asked for a traditional Christmas, didn't you?"

"…Yes," Kaito eyed the boy suspiciously, "Turkey, fireplace, mince-pie, all that. I don't think home delivered snow was on the list, to be honest."

"And how do we define _traditional_ Christmas again?" Hakuba challenged, smiling ever slightly. "A White Christmas. Time spent with your friends and family, happy times."

Kaito literally jumped at the definition. "Oh God! Please don't tell me you've invited your parents – and mine – too!!"

The blonde looked thoughtful. "OK, make that 'time spent with your friends and the one you love', happy?"

Kaito opened his mouth to retort, but the Osaka detective said a casual comment that made his jaws close with an audible clack again. It just happened that Hattori observed with two raised eyebrows,

"You two are just arguing like an old married couple, aren't you?"

Shinichi nodded in agreement, and attempted in vain to conceal a smirk.

Undignified replies came from both Hakuba – "old?!" – and Kaito – "married?!" – and fell deadpanned to the ground.

Several seconds later, to everyone's surprise, Kaito started shovelling the snow as if there were Pandora hidden under it. Hakuba merely looked upon his companion in amusement. Shinichi's smirk widened as Hattori observed again, quite accurately,

"Exercise is good for you. There's definitely redness in your cheeks, Kuroba."

Kaito ignored his comment but looked up nonetheless, his sky-blue eyes narrowing with homicide.

"What makes you think we are a couple?"

"Not just a couple, an old and married couple," Hattori corrected.

"No, what makes you think we are a _couple_ after all." He _really_ wished he could stuff the Osaka detective's head into the oven just as Hakuba did the turkey.

"Well, you tend to appear on the news with him, walk around with him, be chased around with him, invites friends to Christmas with him, _lives_ with him, works with him, sleep eat does homework and stand here today shovelling snow with him…need I go on?"

Kaito death-glared Shinichi, the eloquent detective of the East, and when a hole didn't appear as intended on the face that was a split image of his, he gave up.

"Fine. Hakuba, you are on your own." As if proving the point, he threw his hands up in the air and headed straight for the dining room.

"…" Hattori, the observer, scratched his nose at this awkward moment before blurting out, "and just exactly _who_ wears the trousers in this house?"

Hakuba smiled extra-sweetly and locked his fierce gaze with the darker boy, while calling out: "Kaito, please do set the table and bring out the turkey."

A series of incoherent grumble and reluctant _clungggg_ that was meant to be the oven door banging open answered him. Hattori looked enlightened.

"… I see."

* * *

**To Be Continued**

A/N: My second English fanfic of Magic Kaito. I write loads in Chinese, but got a bit bored lately. It's meant to be as funny as possible, but as I said, I own nothing except my essays, coursework, and non-existent confidence, so I have no sense of humour at all. Sorry guys.

Review was what I would ask from Santa this Christmas, anyone wanna be my Santa? x)

PS. depends on how things go, I might let things spice up a bit.. hmm. there's a thought.


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